Man walks out on date after she’s 15 minutes late, she blows up his phone in retaliation: “People not being on time is my biggest red flag”

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  • 01

    AITAH for cancelling our date because she was 15 minutes late?

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    I connected with someone on a dating app, and after a while of texting we agreed to a restaurant date as our first time meeting in real life.
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    To clarify: In my profile i have listed people not being on time as my biggest red flag, In our chat I talked about how punctuality is a really important virtue to me, and when we planned the date I specifically told her to text me should something come up or If there are any delays.
  • 04
    Come the time and day of the date and she isnt there. I wait and check my phone and she hadnt texted me anything. She finally arrives 15 minutes late. She greets me but doesnt even apologize for being late. I ask her why she was late. She shrugs and says that taking ready just took longer than expected. I
  • 05
    ask her If before she drove here she already knew she wouldnt make it in time. She says yes. I ask her why she didnt text me. She said she didnt because she was only "a little late", and started looking visibly annnoyed.
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    At that point I excused myself, said our values dont align and left her there.
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    She proceeded to shout after me and blew up my phone before I unmatched her when I got home.
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    AITA? I just have absolutely zero tolerance for not being on time without good reason, especially when you dont even communicate it properly or arent even sorry about it, and I know my standards are harsh but I feel like I was very open about it and gave plenty of warnings.
  • 09
    Practical-Stock8481 • 11h ago NTA. If she had apologized, I'd say you were too harsh. But who doesn't apologize for being late? That's the issue, IMO.
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    itschipbtw ⚫ 11h ago Not trying to be combative but if she did text you that she was running late or apologized for being late, would that have changed your thought process?
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    Apart-Scene-9059 • 11h ago NTA: Now I would usually say this is an over reaction but in your case where, it's listed on your profile, you had a conversation regarding lateness before the date and you explained how you would
  • 12
    like someone to respond if they are late and she just ignored that.
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    Honestly wouldn't even be the lateness that bothered me but the lack of respect
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    JexilTwiddlebaum 9h ago As someone who is super punctual myself I get the frustration, but the reality is that 99% of the world thinks being 15 min late is no big deal. You may have trouble finding a suitable partner if you aren't a little flexible on that point.
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    Radioactive_water1 • 9h ago Well you did warn her. But you sound exhausting
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    doitnow11 8h ago NTA especially if you made it clear on your profile, in this dating market people need to be respectful of others with how easy it is to find someone new
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  • 19
    Ridicutarded-73 • 8h ago Whatever works for you. I dated a woman in the 1980s who was chronically late. I didn't like it much. Anyway, we've been married 38 years. There's more to life than punctuality
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    Spiraling_Swordfish ⚫ 10h ago This is what I consider a pretty rare situation, where technically, you're not "the a hole" in this particular situation, but I'm sorry man, you very much come off like an a hole generally.
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    I just have absolutely zero tolerance for not being on time without good reason [I] have listed people not being on time as my biggest red flag, In our chat I talked about how punctuality is a
  • 22
    really important virtue to me, and when we planned the date I specifically told her... ...Fair to say you were explicit in your warnings, and she knew what she was getting into. So she gets to be TA for that night.
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    But I wonder if she dodged a bullet? In this post at least, you sound intolerant and pompous to the point of being insufferable. I wouldn't want someone like you in my life.
  • 24
    Hopefully enough people feel differently, that you have some good ones in yours?

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